Keeping a personal blog is hard work that often lack rewards. But it is also very important, especially when you experience as many adventures as I do. Even though for years I’ve menaced myself and the world that I’ll be verbose in this Internetsy sea of information, I never did it, or if I did, I was never constant. Looking back, I realize I should have made the effort of writing a blog, because memories are a precious thing that require work to store and treasure. And because, perhaps somewhere out there, there’s this one soul who might use whatever I have to share. Read the rest of this entry »

My first trip to Italy was governed by naivety. At 23, I thought I could conquer the world one old lady in care at a time. I thought I could master all my convictions, education and dreams and forge a new future in a foreign country, starting from ground zero. I wanted to get my hands dirty and keep my honor intact. It took me one year, 3 months, one serious sickness and  about 20 kilos lost to go back on the track that was meant for me.  Back to Romania. Back home. Read the rest of this entry »

I do Graphical User Interface (GUI) and usability design for software products. This means that I create and arrange the interface of a software in a way that allows its users to actually use every functionality available, preferably in an intuitive and easy to use manner. GUI design, however, is a notion few people understand. Read the rest of this entry »

Many friends of mine (most of them programmers) envisioned at least once to open up their own development business. I listen to their stories and plans with interest, but can only help with a single advice, which of course does not get much attention: Make Games. It doesn’t get better than that, code-wise;  no business software would ever rival the complexity of a decently designed game, and you don’t even have to be 3D graphics astute to entertain. All you need in creativity and patience to help or forge an artist. I could even help with that – I know many artsy types.

But my programmer entrepreneurs know better: games do not make you any money. At all. And they never will.  Which is a neat argument… but I believe in businesses that earn value, not only money. And that is why I like making games: in my eyes, there is a lot of value there, and most people in the industry have slightly different motivations compared to the regular, parent approved types of work.

So this post is not about new businesses nor an attempt to convince the world to make games (I have other means for that). Instead, it is a wishlist for my dream, which is to help establish or develop my own studio home, in Brasov. Why there? Because there’s no place like home and because Brasov is a special Romanian town with many hidden qualities that the world should know. Why a studio? Because I believe games is a word that limits some people’s imagination. Work can be fun, too. Work can be a game, and that’s one idea that fascinates me. Why my own? Because I dream of forming a team that creates a product (a game, perhaps, but not exclusively) with different means and reasons than the “normal” ones.  I’d like to form a team that has values and has a purpose which is different than profit.

This is a DREAM – one that could and just might see only the virtual lights of a day ( I actually find it neat to open up a virtual studio in a virtual Brasov – it’s reachable, easy and utterly modern). But that is what dreams are for: to be dreamed.

Young people do not know the meaning of patience. I am young, so getting used to waiting is very difficult for me, especially if I wait for something that is decisive for the future of my family. When I wait in uncertainty,  my mind is very good in creating all sorts of scenarios which seem not influence me, yet I find myself unable to snap out of sadness and sometimes even on the verge of getting physically sick. I do not know how to live in uncertainty; I am no longer young enough to take things for granted or simply be naive and not think about consequences and the future,  but I am not yet old and wise enough to value what I have and to draw strength from that. To have faith.

Because you see, patience is not just the art of waiting, but it is the art of waiting with hope. I never believed in destiny or in some higher power that controls our lives regardless of our actions,  but now I find myself often in situations where I know I’ve done my best to throw the dice the best I could, and I just have to have patience – the good kind of patience – that they will eventually provide a good result. Now it is time for me to have faith. And the hardest part is that I need to have faith for my family, not just for me.

I am using a lot of big words in this post, to describe what I am going through now that I am living the next chapter of my adventure. Funny, I have always though that  breaking into the video games industry will be the hard part and that bringing this forward in an international studio will be the hardest part. Now that I am here, the mountain I still have to climb remains just as high, but it is really just a matter of perspective. Sometimes, the most important and hard things in life are the easiest ones, the simplest to hold on to. I just need to hold on to my dream and to keep my family together, which is something we’ve managed well so far.

Which brings me to the purpose of this blog, which is to keep track of what I am doing, experiencing, in the hopes that someone else out there can benefit from it. So from “how to break into the gaming industry” to “how to survive being hundreds of miles away from home”, this blog will hopefully have it all.

But still a few words will see the light (more like evening) of this pitiful day. I still lack patience and still gain stress, but sharding this burden with others helps. Sometimes, having an ear to lend to a friend works better than all the medicine in the world. And I still wait for good news, making efforts not to think about it but stressing, anticipating, praying. For HIM and us.

In Japanese, IKIGAI means "something important one lives for", a sense of purpose, YOUR own, personal reason for being. I first learned about IKIGAI while watching TED; I was actually watching a rather egocentric presentation about "How to live to be 100+", featured below. 

Turns out that, if you want to surpass 100 years of life, you don’t need an organic diet, a lack of vice, a regular sporting activity or a super trained team of doctors. You need, instead, a strong community that you know will help you no matter what, a daily life which implies a little outdoors, a lot of love and IKIGAI. A purpose you know, a reason you live for. A meaning that you know with the deepest convictions of your soul that your life has. YOUR meaning.  

So people who grow that old not only enjoy a longer life, but they enjoy it in good conditions. It doesn’t help much to live that much if you spend many years immobile and unconscious in a bed, does it?  And IKIGAIs such as money or power don’t work – history did a relentless job of proving that over and over again. 

IKIGAIs that work are children and nephews, belief, regardless of whether it is religious or not, commitment to a trustworthy community and life long professions practiced with love and passion.

Which gets me to my IKIGAI. Truth is, our modern way of living is anything but compatible with the lifestyle described at TED. The "8 – 10 hours a day in an office" guarantees quite the contrary, especially if you are in the wrong office doing a job you don’t like. And people nowadays are so carefully trained to aim for money more than for purpose…   So the 8-10 hours we spend because of social compliance bring an even higher cost of living time. 

So how can we bring the true IKIGAI back to our lives? Well, this is the exact process I am going through now, and it is not an easy one. It has been more than a year now that I have left home to pursue this, and I am still too young to tell if I truly found my IKIGAI. Which is, making games. Because I believe that video games are a wonderful medium which CAN transform us as humans. In video games, we rarely run for cash; instead, in games we learn how to be heroes. And how to pursue a goal, a purpose that usually transcends our mere existance, be it real or virtual. In games, our progress is clear and we get immediate feedback on whether we’re doing good or not. It is thus easier to discern between good and evil, and if you do choose evil, you’ll never have the excuse of unawareness. 

I believe we are on the verge of a games revolution in all domains. Businesses might be surprised to know that loyalty is forged in many ways and that people are willing to do unbelieveable things if they believe in what they are doing. And that together – we are getting considerably better in forming large communities, aren’t we?- we can certainly accomplish a lot more than we ever dreamed of. 

So my IKIGAI is creating games that matter. My community that I can depend on is small, but close by, and hopefully will join me soon at work as well (some of it at least; I am not yet very sure whether my cat wants to develop video games, but I certainly believe there is a good chance for that too). 

It’s 9 PM and I just got back home from work. This is one of the good days – on Monday, I wrapped things up at 10 PM, and on Friday, midnight caught me at the office still. But I am doing something I love – I’m officially involved in creating video games, finally! Does this, however, worth throwing away my life?

To back up and summarize the odds and ends of my adventure, my job hunt has ended – I landed a job as Assistant Project Manager at a Romanian video games studio that works for one of THE publishers in this industry. I chose this position over a design one based on a simple reasoning (back then): as a manager, I can step in and shape the design process, but as a video game designer, I would not be able to help up managing a project. And since my past experience is heavily centered on management, the choice seemed logical.

So starting October 1st 2009, I moved to Bucharest and got my hands dirty from day one. No training, no “Hey, I’m X and I am going to be helping the management for this project” , no “Here’s the restroom”. I simply sat at my new desk and started writing.  Because it was crunch time already. Apparently, in the video games industry, there is always crunch time. Read the rest of this entry »